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While I was watching Darkest Hour, the acclaimed blur about Winston Churchill, one arena absolutely captivated me. It wasn’t the arena area he delivers the acclaimed Academy Award-winning “We shall action on the beaches” abode to Parliament. Or the arena area King George VI visits him in his bedchamber backward one night to action support.

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It was the arena back Baroness Clementine Ogilvy Spencer-Churchill (that’s added than a affirmation of a name) was removing a accumulating of adorning pillows from the bed, and I thought, “Lordy, alike Winston Churchill had to accord with bandy pillows!”

The Luftwaffe was aggressive to advance the U.K. and the British army was amidst at Dunkirk, but that didn’t stop the prime minister’s wife from accessory to her “scatter cushions,” which they’re alleged on the added ancillary of the pond.

Did Pope Leo the Great boner up the bandy pillows at his Vatican accommodation back Attila the Hun and the Mongol hordes were at the gates of Rome? Did Marie Antoinette adhere to her bandy pillows back the French revolutionaries were about to annoyance her off to prison? Why do bodies about-face to bandy pillows in a crisis? Did Hillary Clinton bandy bandy pillows at Bill Clinton over Monica Lewinsky? And aloof how abounding pillows were befuddled over Stormy Daniels? (Of course, bandy pillows aren’t for throwing, although they serve the purpose able-bodied during affecting upheavals, and they’re a wiser best than, say, plates or knives.)

Watching Darkest Hour fabricated me apprehend bandy pillows accord us backbone in times of crisis. They calm us during the storm, and acclimation them can be like feng shui in a Bed Bath & Beyond affectionate of way. So buy added bandy pillows for your brainy health, I say.

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Does Oprah affectation pillows in her bathrobe room? Does Vladimir Putin align them on his bed or does the KGB? And what about Kim Jong-un? Will his accessory be accomplished if the pillows aren’t organized aloof so?

My wife is acutely accurate about area pillows are placed, and if it’s not done according to her burdensome specifications, she’ll accord us a ascetic lecture.

Even admitting Sandy, who is English, doesn’t accept as abounding names as Baroness Clementine Ogilvy Spencer-Churchill, I’m assertive she has added bandy pillows, allegedly because she wants to move up in society. In Britain, a person’s amusing cachet is bent by pillow ownership. There are acreage barons, and there are pillow barons.

The aristocratic ancestors has bags of bandy pillows … and alike added candlesticks. Back our ancestors acquires a minimum of 2,000 pillows, I’ll be knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, aloof like Sir Elton John and Sir Mick Jagger, alike admitting I’m Italian.

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My wife and daughters are bedeviled with adorning pillows. To them, there’s no bigger anatomy of alleviation than aimless through HomeGoods to appraise the inventory. And at the end of a demanding day, I’ll generally hug a pillow or bite the capacity out of it to achieve my composure.

Our dog shares these tendencies and consistently all-overs assimilate the bed, pounces on the accumulation of pillows and burrows her wet dog adenoids in them. Then she loses basset abstemiousness and pushes them all over the room. Bandy pillows allegedly accompany out the wolf in her.

However, there’s an accepted aphorism in our home: NEVER put your arch on a bandy pillow, abnormally if your beard is greasy, although our dog never observes the rules and usually puts her base on them. Dogs acutely abridgement the clarification of Baroness Clementine Ogilvy Spencer-Churchill … unless they’re able British dogs like the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

A few months ago, I succumbed to allurement and bought a pillow I liked, but it met with actual disapproval, and my ancestors insisted I had to acknowledgment it. Instead of an angel of Big Ben or Westminster Abbey, it had a moose on it. Two moose actually.

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“Get rid of that pillow!” they yelled. “It’s sooo tacky!”

I accept Lady Churchill would never accept acceptable a bandy pillow with a moose on it because there’s an accepted cipher of British decorum: Under amends of ache in the Tower of London, you charge never affectation bandy pillows with backcountry creatures … unless they’re affianced in a fox hunt. I abstruse that from watching Downton Abbey.

Joe Pisani can be accomplished at [email protected]

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